A word to the wise...
The key to effective communication, whether at work or at home, is not using the right words to get your point across but listening to gain understanding of the other person’s point so that you know what points you agree on already and where you need to work to come together. Every action and word used in the process should reflect that you are both on the same team.
No matter the feelings we have for others -- love, hate, anger, pride, or disappointment -- they must be nurtured to be sustained. Knowing this allows us to nurture healthy feelings and starve unhealthy feelings with our thoughts and actions.
When working on building or healing a family, it's important to first identify what your home would be like if it were a "haven" for you to come home to. But shortly after this, we must ask the most important question, "What am I doing to help create that kind of haven?"
It's important for couples to remember that they must function as a unit rather than as individuals. If it's hurtful, degrading, or offensive and you wouldn't do it to yourself, it should be avoided.
Rather than spending excessive time and effort trying to control other people, our energy is better spent deciding on an appropriate and beneficial response.
You cannot expect someone to have high regard for a friend or family member that you are speaking negatively about. The fact that they care about you makes them want to defend or protect you when you are talking about someone treating you badly, no matter the position the person holds.